Treatment feedback for our short film idea

Treatment feedback for our short film idea:

Overall we had both positive and negative feedback because initially our storyline was seen as a unique and interesting concept especially with the idea about not knowing where the money comes from. However the main part that we need to work on is the middle part of the narrative and fixing the scene of the person finding the money .e.g. some of the suggestion were:

1. Repetition of them sitting down and finding the money so that there's more build up to the scene.

2.  The person having a bad day and unexpectedly they see money in the park which changes their situation. It would be better if they find the money once as that will make the scene stronger and it would be better if we focus more on the build-up of the scene of money. Creating suspense.

3. Or on 2nd day they go to park and look for money again but then they see a letter threatening them about the money. In the letter they are being threatened that if they don't return the money they will be told off to the police.

4.  Others suggested that, as we are focusing on the build-up, we should have scenes of the protagonist in bad/unlucky situations, this is most to affect our location and would mean that we need to have more settings. Also this is a possible way in which we could interpret comedy into our short film as most comical characters are clumsy or happen to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.

These ideas were recommended because our audience was confused about the idea of how the audience will feel the suspense within the drama, as before we decided to show scenes of the person repeatedly finding money and scenes of them in front of different shops. From this, we have come to conclude that the main parts we need to focus on are on the middle part, build-up of the scene of them finding money and the idea of creating danger or threat.

Treatment feedback for short film

Treatment Idea

Classification/genre: drama (Plan for our short film)

Synopsis: Money in the park. A person who has had a bad day goes to park and whenever they sit on the bench, they find an envelope underneath their bottom. In this envelope they find money. We then see them pass a designer or expensive shop. The next day they go to park and they find another envelope which yet again has money in it, this time they take the money and stop by a homeless person. On the third day they find another envelope and we see a man staring at him from a distance. On the fourth day, when they are about to leave with the money they're stopped by a man who tells them that they have to give back their money and if they not  have to work for them. The film ends with the audience seeing them receive a letter via e-mail from a charity which says "thank you so much for your donation" and we see them with a anxious, worried face.

Which professional films inspired you: Gift , home.
Audience: 16+ onwards
Length: 5mins

Logistic and feasibility: 2 actors, 1 female and 1 male.                                                                       Equipments- envelope, bench,
Location- westfield shepherd's bush or oxford street. Any park.
5 scenes

Any ethical issue:None

Where would your films be distributed/screened: Youtube channel, Leyton Media hub & local film festivals.

Short film mini task

Evaluation of mini short film task

Planning:


As a group we went through the script and decided what camera angles we were to use. We then decided who would take what role in the group, Laila was the sound operator, Geoffery was in charge in the sound boom, Zak was the camera man and myself, Thomas and Luqman acted.


Group work:


Everybody had an assigned role or character to play, we work together well as a group.


Technical skills:


A variety of camera angles and shots were used, for example, wide shot, close up, worm view, eye line match, medium shot, medium close up and over the shoulder shots. The cuts, in terms of editing, were really effective and the transitions were fairly smooth, however the camera was not in focus when we filmed therefore our piece became slightly blurred. We also added text at the end of our short film to make it more comical.


Creative skills:


As for my input, I annotated our script and suggested which camera angles to use, also I acted and decided to cut out some of my lines. Also Laila helped me remember my lines.


Improvements:
-  Make the film more clear and visible by using the focus well.
- Try to contribute more ideas towards the treatment of my film project.
- Try and use more transitions and effective editing skills to improve the quality of the film.

Case Study 3 Home - Malaysia Drama Short Film

A leprosy family were forced to evict from a place where they call home, based on a true story. Mainly the story is really about the mother. Ah Chen herself is illiterate. She is her own support system. She worked to provide for her own children and to care for her mother. Faced with eviction, all her work in creating stability, and her own support is gone, if she has to give up a home she’s called her own for decades.

This short film shows the harsh reality that some people have to live in, they are left with no place to go, I chose this because it is based on a true story and I would like my own short film to be somewhat truthful and realistic so that people can relate to it.

This film is really touching and makes the audience feel very sympathetic towards the characters in this film, I would like this to be significant in my film as my film is a drama. There are a variety of different camera angles used in this film which i will use in my film as they do well in creating an intense atmosphere as well as conveying emotion.

This shot establishes thee location and the darkness implies that they are not living in good conditions and foreshadows the storyline. Also the fact that the laundry is hung up like that further suggest that they are from a poor background and are disadvantaged. 

This shot is an establishing shot it tells us the title of the short film and foreshadows the storyline as it implies that the location of this film will be here. 

This over the shoulder shows the characters' emotions really well is captures her hand gestures which are key in this scene. The subtitles here also suggests that the character is a non English speaker.

Case Study 2 Gift - Singaporean Inspiration Drama Short Film

This short film follows a young boy and his resentment towards his father during his childhood and when he was grows up he realises that his father gave donations on his behalf and helped other people, he was selfless and he didn't tell anyone about what he used to do. In the end the boy

idolise his father and himself helps children out a t the charity.

It starts of in the present tense when the boy tells us about his father and his experiences as a child.

This is a flashback which shows us his father teaching him to give to others yet the boy is unhappy because he’s not rich.

At the end of the film the boy learns about all of the selfless things that his father did and idolises him.

The reason why I chose this film as a case study is because it's very inspirational, it shows two sides of the story in terms of points of view; it shows it from the son’s perspective and then at the end it shows it from the father’s perspective. This film also portrays the relationship between a father and son and how his father's actions affects that relationship. However, the main reason I used this as a case study is because of the message behind it all, it teaches us that "being rich is not how much you have, but it's how much you give. Somehow you'll be happier. Somehow you'll feel better." In my film I would like it to have a similar message, I want it to make people think about their actions. The genre of my film is drama thus I chose this as one case study.

There are many different type of editing techniques used in this film, for example cuts, jump cuts to show a character at more than one scene, matched cuts to show the action continuing. Also there are many camera angles used in this film for example shot reverse shot to show the conversation between the two characters, extreme close ups to show key props e.g. the money. 

Case Study 1

The first short film I will use as a case study is Connection, a drama starring Jude Law. The film shows a meeting in a London airport terminal: a Belarusian, who needs a connecting flight to Minsk, meets an Englishman, who has returned back home. The English movie star helps the Belarusian to find the departure gate for the flight from London to Minsk. The Belarusian receives a telephone call and understands he can’t return home, as does the movie star.

I chose this short film because not only does it  highlight the issue of the right to live a free life by taking a situation close to home (aka the press) and a very serious issue that people can often feel detached from (aka the political persecutions in foreign countries). But it also shows a friendship between two people who somewhat become friends as they both can’t return home. In my short film I will also like to tackle political issues and show a friendship a positive way.

In my movie I want it to have a similar atmosphere in terms of the levels of intensity, the camera angles used are very simple but effective as they portray the emotions of characters and captures the ideas behind the film. I would like my movie to have this as i would like to grab the audiences' attention before revealing the moral of my film.

This shot is an extreme close up; this is the first shot we see of any character. It is used to capture his emotion.

This shot is an establishing shot it tells us the title of the short film and foreshadows the storyline as it implies that the location of this film will be at an airport.

This shot is a medium close up which introduces us to the two characters and shows us their first interaction. Also the subtitles suggest that one of the characters is a non-English speaker.

This shot is a dolly shot and it follows the conversation of the two men, it shows they develop a friendship even though they can’t speak the same language.

This is a critical over the shoulder shot, which highlights a key moment in the film, this is where they both receive phone calls saying that they can’t return home.

This wide shot shows that both these characters are upset and it highlights the connection between the two characters.

This final shot fades into white and allows the audience to figure out the ending by themselves. 

Short film idea

Short film

I would like to do a drama about a girl who has bipolar or a split personality and I would like to show how her mood fluctuates. When she is at a happy stage there will be upbeat, happy music and the scene will be in colour, and when she is depressed the scene will be in black and white and she will be isolated. There will be no dialogue spoken but words will appear in shots to tell us what she is thinking. I also want to show discrimination in this short film and depict how people are judged in society, so the reason for her having a mental disorder will be because of her getting bullied.